Just Feed the Cat
For at least 20 years I have had the opportunity, now and
again, to work with a brilliant and eccentric pharmacist and friend. For now, we'll call him Carl. Quite some time ago Carl shared a story with
me about his son and his cat.
Carl described this scenario to me that started with him
coming home from work. Day in and day
out, as soon as he got home from work he would immediately look to see if the
cat had been fed. Invariably it had not, which would then turn into a
discordant conversation with his son about feeding the cat.
We are not concerned about the discussion of family chores
and responsibilities; but rather, the emotional feeling this left Carl with after
having an unharmonious interaction with his son.
After discussing this particular interaction with his
counsel, Carl was informed that he may have a better chance of brining harmony
into the home after work if he just committed to feeding the cat himself. Perhaps the specific lesson in family chores
and responsibility may be better suited for an alternative set of
circumstances.
Interestingly, around the same time that Carl told me this
story, I was working through a similar issue with my children. I would find myself going into their room for
some reason, either to read with them, tuck them in, or some other happy
situation. Then, I would follow my actions, as I became upset because they had
their shower towels from the last couple days hanging on their chair or thrown
on the floor.
The towels on the floor would distract me from my goal of
having a thoughtful interaction with my child.
After listening to Carl's story, I just began picking up the towels
myself. Amazingly, my interactions with
my children, in this particular arena, improved immediately. As I began to
model the behavior of picking up towels and hanging them back in the bathroom,
my children eventually learned to do this as well.
Of the many similarities both Carl and I have, a few of the
important ones are that we are both pharmacists, we both have children (one boy
and one girl), and we are both in loving relationships with our wife.
Anyone who has worked in a pharmacy knows, without a doubt, at
times the workload may become unduly stressful for extended lengths of time.
Without being aware, we may bring these emotions home with us and
unintentionally share them with our family.
Managing this workload in the pharmacy may require the
pharmacist to exert some control over what needs to be done right now, what can
wait 10 minutes, what can be postponed for a couple hours, and what can be left
until tomorrow. As pharmacists, we also
know that when we leave the work place, we should do our best to leave that
control at the pharmacy, and not bring it home.
Of course, we all know, this description of controlling our
work environment is not specific to pharmacy.
Many, if not all, professions come with their share of stress, anxiety,
pressure, difficulty and tension that all need to be controlled at some
level.
The key to managing a successful family life along with your
professional life is understanding the difference. What tools do YOU use to help you leave the
stresses of work at work and not bring them home to your family?
Steve